“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” -Carl Jung
Mary Carol was so annoyed. Her subject matter expert Sue had just interrupted her while she was speaking. “That is not what I asked.” Sue said. Inwardly Mary Carol seethed. Inwardly she thought, “Well if you would have let me finish I would have answered you.”
Mary Carol tried again and this time she kept her answer much more concise and to the point. Later in that same conversation, Sue cut her off again. This was really irritating. She began to realize that she did not enjoy Sue’s communication style at all. She found it to be very curt and unfriendly. She thought that Sue was being very impatient. She could not wait to conclude the conversation and move on.
The next day Mary Carol had participated in a meeting where Sue was also in attendance. There were times during the meeting where Sue seemed to be impatient and worked to move the conversation along more quickly. Then it was time for Sue to speak about her part of the project. As Sue discussed her work, the challenges she faced and some of the potential solutions she had found, her whole communication style seemed to change. She responded to questions fully. She did not cut anyone off when they spoke and she looked much more happy and more engaged in the conversation.
It occurred to Mary Carol that Sue was really comfortable in her knowledge and more than willing to share ideas. Sue was really responding to the questions and feedback on her area or expertise and interest. As Mary Carol watched Sue something occurred to her. Maybe Sue was not the only one who needed to work on her communication style. Mary Carol could approach Sue differently. Perhaps Mary Carol was guilty of wanting everyone to communicate the same way or to respond to her style no matter what. And just maybe Sue was not the only one who was being impatient. It was definitely worthy of consideration and Mary Carol decided that next time she spoke with Sue, she would try using a different approach.
What is the best lesson you have learned from someone who irritated you?
Do you ever wonder what others might have learned from you? Yes I am implying that at least once you were probably irritating to others